Sometimes while I sit, engrossed in life My brow lightly furrowed, concentrating On getting the task at hand done Running my five miles in the circle of creation
I hear a rustle, a little whisper Of someone on the periphery of my thoughts I glance up, as if to see the vision Of that someone that always flits across My mind on busy days like these Resting otherwise in my heart; I glance as if that heavenly soul has Bridged our realms that are so far apart.
I look up, afraid to lose the thread Of that feeling, that gentle touch Of someone nestling in my core Someone beloved, someone missed so much. I look beyond into the blurry depths Of my vision, desperately holding on To that fleeting caress upon my cheek Gifted, bestowed by a precious one.
The atoms of day, ricochet and I blink Once, twice. I am back in the circle of life I grope twice, three times for that lucid moment When i was in the same space, alongside Someone who most days quietly rests In the warmest nooks of my being A cherished one who on special days like this Takes my hand, eyes twinkling as she beams!
I glance up, my soul surging with joy For that precious moment, filling the void. Sometimes while I sit, engrossed in life I am touched by a beloved for a sweet moment in time.
I am Laughter and I am Tears I am the apex of my most lucid Fears I am Joy and I am Peace I am all that the tranquil dove sees I am Chaos, I am Discord I am the Trodden, I am Master and Lord I am Winter and I am Spring I wither, I fade and I waken again I am Rage and I am Love I’m the depths of the ocean, I am the heavens above I am the Devil and I am the Saint I’m rampant, unbridled and also restrained I am the Thundering Eye of the storm I am the Deluge that it brings along I am the Space Dust whirling around Deformed defacements that once were sound I am also the Centre of the Universe I’m the Infinite Beauty of prose and verse I am Kindness and I am Faith I am Hope and I am Grace I am the Atom, I am the Whole I am the Body, I am the Soul I am whoever that I want to be I am Maya*, I am Cosmic Energy.
* MAYA: The personification of the idea that the material world is illusory. Maya is a female name in various languages. In Sanskrit, for instance, it means "illusion or magic", and is also an alternate name of the Hindu goddess Lakshmi. In the Tupi language, of southern Brazil, it means "mother". In the Māori language, it means "courage" or "bravery".
I opened the curtains to the sun peeping through Pillowy clouds were floating around - just a few I stood at the window, the sleep fading away I smiled - We were going on our seaside trip today!
I packed up my bag, threw in my shorts A couple of shirts and two pairs of socks Even by the coast I traipse around in my sneakers I grinned as I also packed my Bluetooth speaker
I went to the kitchen to make myself tea Put on the kettle and looked out at the sea Visible only from that room - the irony! I giggled - I’d soon be walking on a soft sandy beach
A steaming cup in my hand, I went to my lounge I watched a pelican as it flew drunkenly around It had become suddenly overcast and grey I laughed, it was going to be a nice drive to the bay
And then I went to the loo for a minute or five I was getting ready, my partner was about to arrive I came out to a full fledged tropical squall I guffawed at the tragedy of the “best laid plans” and all!
I closed the curtains, the sun had been snatched up by Zeus It was noon but he was obviously in one of his moods I lay down, took a deep breath, closed my eyes I sighed - The tropical weather gods loved to surprise!
December has arrived, nay, it’s nearly done The end of year’s upon us, winter, it has come I had a few wishes, resolutions and the like That I memo’d in my mind in Jan of twenty-five
Then came February, and with it came a pall From all the celebrations and energy of the hols The wishes and the must-dos faded just a bit As summer in all its brilliance laughingly swept in
Then there were vacations and baking in the sun Barbecues and festivals, meeting precious ones Teatime confidences, low key, calm and tender More spirited evenings full of song and a few benders!
Fall came rustling in then, dressed in oranges and reds The list of resolutions were almost put to bed The dreams too were foggy, like tree tops in the mist A far off memory, a fleeting touch upon the wrist
And now it is December, nay it is almost done The new year is upon us, year-end it has come There will be good intentions and bucket lists again For hope it springs eternal, from beginning to the end.
I woke up this morning, what a fabulous day! I glanced in the mirror, smiling away. I made my bed, brushed my teeth, did my hair I got myself ready, humming away. I picked up my bag, looked out at the world It was glimmering and dancing, shining away I walked down the street towards my cafe The Magnolia and Bougainville were blooming away. I sat at a table in the veranda outside All the feathered creatures were chirping away. I wrapped my hands around my latte As the mid morning breeze whispered away I then went about my usual day The hours peacefully ticking away Then came evening as I sat in my lounge The shadows of dusk lightly stretching away I woke up this morning, with hope in my heart The universe too gently embraced me today.
I wake up, my mind numb, my legs feeling Like 10 kg bags of wet cement Have been tied to my ankles, weighting Me down, ripping a dent With my name in the fabric of the universe I think briefly of yesterday, it was the reverse Of the state of my mind, as it ties and it binds Me today as if to remind Me that nothing ever is permanent - No Nothing stays forever, it isn’t meant to Charmed luck, joy, good health and peace Hardship, tragedy, anxiety and disease They come, they take their turns at the wheel Some lasting longer, some just touch you and flee I wake up, my mind numb, my body feeling like lead But tomorrow I’m hoping I won’t feel so dead.
She gets out of the car, adjusting her shalwar The legs one mustn’t behold, out of their fabric strongholds The ankles though, for a moment show Their shameful curvature.
It can’t be helped you see, we are bipedal beings But we can’t see the nuances of practical biology When blinded by the nobility of our formidable patriarchy, And cloaked in out great Fervour of faith.
And so she bends just a little to adjust the errant drape And while she endeavours, to hold together Her blessed modesty Some man out there, finds her morality in disrepair What is she bending for, like a dirty, depraved w****!
And the floods of moral outrage at this corrupt spectacle In their godly country, cause a debacle Every man takes it upon himself to deface this hideousness He then looks to his companions, all now chomping at their bits
They rush upon this evil scene, of the wicked and immoral queen For a queen she is, from head to toe. Evil, wicked, shameful though! She makes their blood gush in great floods Testosterone-filled, Squelching like mud She makes their heads swim in strange ways Where she is master and they are slaves.
God does not permit, such sacrilege Where genders abandon their rightful places Men are meant to lead them forth Moral compasses pointing true north Held aloft by everything, a woman does, from breathing in To the way she walks in crowded streets: Ankles hidden, inconspicuous feet.
And that is why an errant sister in faith (A woman who is alone and out and about!) Reeking of impudence in her unveiled state (Putting her entire morality in doubt!) May naturally be seen by her brothers devout As a wanton woman standing at hell’s gates.
I walk down the street, my face set so The kind that threatens “Back off!” you know .. Some also call it the Resting Bitch Face I call it my Psychosocial Can of Mace
I will deny that I’m a lonesome brooder Heck! I love life’s energy and sizzle It’s just that as I’ve grown older … and crosser My Crap Tolerance has all but fizzled
The thing is I now don’t take kindly to Neanderthal stares when I am about Eyeballs a-popping, dignity devolving Seeing Homosapien man driving himself out!
I remember I used to look away before The caveman crassness too much for me Now I reward them, with stupendous contortions Maybe add an unlovely squint or three
Here’s the ruse, these men are obtuse They’ll only ever shake their tails To the pretty demure, girl next door A vibe that so many ladies emanate
So when they see, the prettiness flee Leaving a facial mass of disturbing stuff The caveman stands up, evolution catches up The genteel one can’t look away fast enough!
So the next time, that you feel inclined To give an avid ogler a fit resprise Toggle the peeps, bare all your teeth In a grimace fit for Franken-bride
And that ladies, is why you’ll find me Walking serenely down the street Until I’m in a parade, for the Staring Brigade Then I unleash the power of the squint and the teeth.
Mahvash Mohtadullah 