Author: Mahvash K. M.
I consider myself somewhat of a serial corporate rut absconder because a sabbatical that was to last a year, has turned to eight, and I still see no end in sight. Before that, I worked in the Financial Services Industry. When I’m not writing, I’m fussing in my head, over ideologies of social justice and equality, with superhero twists! My stories and poems have appeared in The Rumen, Sequoia Speaks, Recesses, Every Day Fiction, Blaze Vox and Double Speak magazines. My poem, “Veins” was long listed in the Plough 2023 poetry competition.
Books:
The Girl with the Paisley Dupatta - (short stories)
Shimmering Scraps of Poetry and Madness - (Poetry and essays)
Curious Animals and Quirky Creatures - (Children’s Series)
https://www.facebook.com/Mahvash.Moht/
VERSE | HOPE PEARLESCENT
It is the bee buzzing round the last summer flower
It is the lightest drizzle on a scorching day
It is the rainbow after it has stormed for hours
That has ravaged everything in its wake
It is the bright little smile on the face of a child
Selling elastics and incenses on the street
When you roll down your window at a traffic light
When you leave her with a kind word or three
It is the weed growing through age-worn furrows
In a cement sidewalk, swaying in the breeze
It is the faithful, steady unbroken flame
That warms the heart of a dying candle
It is the single green leaf on a tree that’s ailing
It is the silent prayer
That leaves your lips
Even when all about you is despair
It is the next step ahead on a broken path
Eyes lighting up a horizon that has fallen dark
Hope is sometimes just the littlest spark
It is feeling like you just can’t go on anymore
It is also your blood gushing stronger than ever before
It is the frame that you pull out of a drawer
Into which you put photos of those that are gone
It is brushing your hair
Pulling it into a bun
It is clipping your nails
When all’s said and done
It is reading this verse
Sitting alone in the quietness
It is laying yourself down in your bed of sighs
It is your throat constricting, you breaking inside
It is also awaking to thunderous skies
Their wetness brimming in your aching eyes
Mangled hearts that still throb in the ebb and the flow
It is you that’s still here
Though you’ve bled and you’ve bruised
Hope pearlesceht strings through all of those.

FREE VERSE | SOMETIMES GRIEF
Look at me… See me
I couldn’t. Everywhere I looked, it was there, looming like a mountain, shivering with the bones and moans of people gone. Rattling its presence constantly. I felt it reach desperate fingers through my veins, slowing my blood to a cold, desolate crawl. Then, roaring through my ears in floods that threatened to rip through the corners of my eyes. My parched eyeballs burned until I couldn’t see.
See me …. Feel me
I couldn’t let myself feel its broken form. Jagged and sharp, it would cut through my flesh everytime I looked at it. No matter how fast I fled, it caught up and gripped me around my chest. So tight, I couldnt breathe. I gasped for air, taking in big choking gulps. And then I ran again. I ran and ran until I couldn’t feel.
Feel me … Hold me
I couldn’t let it engulf my senses, to stir up memories that howled in my head. Its own throbbing soul pitched wretchedly inside its quivering tortured layers. Layers upon layers of purple-grey. Like bruises that just don’t heal. It kept hitting itself bruise upon bruise against the walls of my ribcage until every seam was tattooed with wounding inks. Until it lay prone, ragged and torn. I couldn’t look at it, I couldnt hold it.
Look at me … See me … Feel me … Hold me
Hold me … Feel me … See me … Look at me
I looked at it then, and saw a face there, distorted with pain. So much pain. It was mine.
I saw it then, fold up its battered layers and quietly crawl into my heart
I felt it then, as it tenderly claimed my body, seeping into every atom of my being
I held it at last as it became whole, unbroken, divine. My grief finally belonged to me.

VERSE | PURE
O blue blue sky
How often have you seen
Grown men cry
And children console
Kneeling, hand on a ravaged knee
Balled inside grieving bones
Sunk deep within fractured tombs
Their bare stares full of wonder
Rare, untouched by such things
As sense or consequence
Or contrivance or pretense
Guileless they just gaze and gaze
Eyes wide and bright and beautiful
No little cups brimmeth over
No tears spill
They just watch, they take their fill
There is no shock, there is no awe
Just the truest bluest won-der
One that you may have felt once
O blue blue sky
When for the very first time
You saw all of creation, heaven
And earth perfect, unsullied, pure
From eyes that were of the bluest azure.

VERSE | LOVE ODES IN THE 21ST
Live in the moment, write a verse
Sing a song for better or worse
For those that are still around
Still aground, that still abound
Purrs New Zen in dulcet tones
Cease to scruple, seize this time
This time, say it out
To the ones whose breath still vaults
On quickening wings still topside
Of the cosmic vault up high
But En-meshed and-mashed in
So many things still intertwine
Seethe and sizzle, yours and mine
In gleaming lips and blistered minds
O’er crowds of marigolds and mines
In perfect storms come rain or shine
In eggshell treads, blessings and all
Around the holes within our whole
Where things leak out, eke out, grow cold
Love poems can’t fit in, flit in
To spaces filled with oxygen
Rushing in and then out
In bouts, in routs, in-halations
Love in poetry is pos-thu-mous
Past-the-mists of life’s bliss
Waiting pages like watching sages
Stay pristine, unscripted. Cleaned
By life-sodden exhalations
While lungs and wrists and hearts replete
With forgotten dyes wait to spill
Nostalgic ink in clots and things
In what-if meanderings, when
No more breath is left to draw
Shrinking wraiths on windowpanes
When the dearth of death is overcome
They sink their teeth into the sheets
That flutter for their odes of love.

VERSE | DIRKING PORCUPINE
Dirk: A bayonet or a knife. A generally cut-throaty thing.
She can either be an axe-wielding shrew
Or a damsel in distress
The rainbow between
The two states of being
Is ephemeral, the stuff of delusions
Mirages and wild fantasy
She can only be one of those things
That nebulous, pearlescent intervening realm
Rests in the shadows, forgotten
Un-remembered, un-loved
It sits in between
The shrinking violet and she who staggers
Hands full of daggers
In the precipitous crags
Of no-man’s land
The woman, that grande dame
Living in the iridiscent silver sweep
Of grace, softness and strength
Connecting to the very cosmos itself
Reposing in the upraised hand
Of Mother Nature, she has a plan
She’s not distressed and she’s not a man
She’s all woman, passionate, warm
She can move mountains
She can whip up storms
She’s also gentle and wise
She’s the one who ties
Fathers and daughters and sons
In shimmering forever bonds
She defines
The very ethos of humankind
But she is a fairy, she’s unreal
She lives in this other realm
So close yet out of reach, and in this
Our world she can either be
A timorous tea rose or a mannish gal
And so she has picked a side
The flinty hoyden resides
In her everyday garb
She charges into streets
She advances down corridors of corporate intrigue
She launches strategic assaults
Against her womanhood, her essence
Her femininity
To keep her wellbeing even-keeled
Sometimes … sometimes
When the primordial instinct kicks in
She yearns
For her softness, her bliss
For the profoundness
Of being a woman
But that fleeting notion
Scatters with the burgeoning of the day
Burdening her day
She severs the thread, casts it aside
She becomes, for the thousandth time
A spiny, dirking porcupine
And that is how she will stay.

VERSE | RINSE, RECYCLE AND REPEAT
I saw a tree lean in the wind
Its leaves tearing, bolting ahead
To sate the squalls that pulled at them
I thought of you
Of my blood careening in my head
My limbs convulsing for release
My lips struggling to appease
The ego that would sunder me
I saw the tree lean and lean
I heard its leaf-tortured scream
My insides churned with the memory
I turned away
I couldn’t stay
And watch nature take my dismal tale
Rinse it, recycle and repeat.

VERSE | HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAREST ONE 🌺
There is a little photograph
That sits upon my shelf
In its monochromatic hues it holds
My world in its sweet self
A vision sits inside the frame
A smile lights up her face
She’s looking out from beaming eyes
In another time and place
Even as I look at her
She reaches inside my heart
Pulling at blue-purple strings
Of memories tender and soft
I can almost feel the comforting
Gentleness of her hand
It lies there like a lilly
On the railing where she stands
I wish sometimes for magic
An alchemy of the souls
for a few quicksilver moments
Your beautiful hands to hold
Then I close my eyes and reach
For your vital warmth once more
I’m wrapped up in nostalgia
For times and places from before
Your photo sits on my shelf, Mama
It’s full of your love and grace
On most days I just reach within
And you hold me in your loving embrace.

