This week I said that I’d be good 
I’d stay off carbs and meat 
I’d focus on healthful juices  
And on salads. What a treat!

I hope you read the sarcasm 
In the verse above this one 
Even then, didn’t mean to offend
Tomatoes, lettuce and onions 

But the intermittent fasting 
From midnight to noon next day 
Did me in, up to my chin 
Couldn’t keep the carbs at bay!

And so my resolutions of
A healthy body and mind 
They just choked, went up in smoke 
My force of will became unkind 

I ended up inviting in 
A thousand extra calories
But dang! I’m quite determined that
Tomorrow I’ll eat only sunflower seeds 

So if you feel like you’ve lost
The battle of the bulge
On good days, be resolute  
On bad ones, go on and munch. 

Let the heart guide you along 
The mind is like Cruella*
No one needs a conscience deep 
When the belly gods do yell-a!

* Cruella de Vil: a wicked character from Dodie Smith's 1956 novel “The Hundred and One Dalmatians”.