VERSE | MONEY DEOL

A fond and fun tribute to all those who live in close quarters with Money Deols. May the universe keep sending you little kindnesses to make up for the relentlessness of your days 😄

I had this absolutely delicious dream 
Of floating amid pocketbooks laced with cream
Dollar bills and five thousand notes
Were sending their special bouquet up my nose

Morning came and I had to resign
Those exquisite dreams to the tides of time
But ever the optimist that I am
I know I’ll dream of riches again

Today after breakfast I meditated
On my bank balance in the United State-es
My heart skipped a beat, I had to be cautious
But oohhh! All that dough! So Expialidocious!

For lunch I had a sandwich and a coke
My mind wandered into another nook
Yes it was lined up and down with money bags
I was so overcome I almost gagged

Tea was a peaceful affair as the day waned
As I dipped in a biscuit my thoughts roamed again
My prime real estate and other things like it
Made each sip sweeter, each bite iconic

By dinner time the perfection of my day
Was marred only by the distance that lay
Between all my riches and my two hands
That lovely bond only wealth connoisseurs understand

My prayers were modest as they always are:
God please don’t ever take me far
From my beloved’s legally tender embrace
I bow to you, I request your benevolent grace

I then lay me down for another night
Of gilded dreams and green backed sights
I slowly drift off on precious wings
Made of savings certificates and treasury bills.

VERSE | NATIONAL (PH)ANTHEM

LISTEN TO THE POEM BEING READ OUT HERE: https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSdfND9do/
He says they’re a bunch 
Of thieves and thugs
Who have looted the nation
Of its tea and its mugs
They took the dregs of the Earl grey too!
Those boot-polishing, lily-livered brutes!

They say he’s a nut job with lunatic illusions
Of grandeur and psuedo-pious,
Dipped-in-angel-dust delusions
He’s not a statesman, he’s an unbridled curse!
Our friends across the pond agree that’s what he is
This has-been sportsman with his peerni* and tawiz*!

The citizens bewildered and confused
Are wondering with whom they should side
The saga plays out again, sly and crude
Where the nation is taken for a frenzied ride
The horse has long since become a lame ass
Feeding on national common sense with a side of grass

The Paya* and Diesel Management says a lot
The Dharna* Skipper flourishes his “Absolutely Not”!
The repartee continues in savage tones
We watch from the relative safety of our homes
Then the power goes out and all is dark
The slate is wiped clean, we are back at the start.
* Peerni: A Muslim holy woman

* Tawiz: An amulet worn for good luck and protection

* Paya: A specialty dish in the subcontinent, the main ingredients are trotters cooked in various spices

* Dharna: A peaceful demonstration

VERSE | CHECKMATE

I’m in the throes of such exhaustion 
At all of this deception
This shameless commandeering
Of the resources of our nation
This unbridalled corruption
This lewd and shameless arrogance
This swagger, this ostentation
Like a monstrous pile of steaming
Shit!

I feel so much frustration
Such griping exasperation
At this propaganda, misinformation
At our barefaced prostration
To the lords of subjugation.
At our global commoditisation
At all this brazen exploitation
Like the hapless one who’s used to hearing
Checkmate!

VERSE | I’M STUCK

I’m stuck in a rut 
One hand and one foot
The other two grappling
For something to hold

I’m stuck in a hole
Body and soul
The claustrophobia
Is taking its toll.

I’m caught in a pickle
Peace of mind is fickle
The lid is closed tight
There’s no room to wiggle

I’m caught in a quandary
Like heaps of soiled laundry
That sits just like Jabba
The Hutt*. Gross and tawdry

I’m stuck in a rut
And a hole too it seems
I’m caught in a pickle
And an unhappy quandary

But they still haven’t swallowed
Me whole and then followed
With acid dessert
Like a tree that’s been hollowed.

I’m stuck in a hole
But I’m still holding on
In the eye of the storm
To courage and hope

* Jabba the Hutt: A Star Wars character who was slug-like alien and would ultimately fall victim to his own hubris and vengeful ways.

VERSE | IN THE ‘EAT OF THE NIGHT

This week I said that I’d be good 
I’d stay off carbs and meat
I’d focus on healthful juices
And on salads. What a treat!

I hope you read the sarcasm
In the verse above this one
Even then, didn’t mean to offend
Tomatoes, lettuce and onions

But the intermittent fasting
From midnight to noon next day
Did me in, up to my chin
Couldn’t keep the carbs at bay!

And so my resolutions of
A healthy body and mind
They just choked, went up in smoke
My force of will became unkind

I ended up inviting in
A thousand extra calories
But dang! I’m quite determined that
Tomorrow I’ll eat only sunflower seeds

So if you feel like you’ve lost
The battle of the bulge
On good days, be resolute
On bad ones, go on and munch.

Let the heart guide you along
The mind is like Cruella*
No one needs a conscience deep
When the belly gods do yell-a!
* Cruella de Vil: a wicked character from Dodie Smith's 1956 novel “The Hundred and One Dalmatians”.

VERSE | YE, CHIP OF THE OLD BLOCK!

I carry this thing, it sits on my shoulder
Some call it a chip; I call it my boulder
It gnaws at my insides, it makes for low blows
When I’m swirling around in its treacherous throes

I am sometimes deceitful when I feel its weight
Dignity and grace I cavalierly leave at the gate
If it tells me I’m worth nothing, that I’m wretchedly small
I’ll lash out blindly at one and all

I grew up believing this weight that I hold
Of inflated egos and machismo bold
Is an age old legacy that’s been bestowed
From father to son and from son down below.

With time, it has morphed into an ugly avatar
Sometimes the pricks of conscience are stark
But driven by habit and custom and time
I let my massive chip drag me into the grime

I’m weaving this rhyme when I’m feeling lucid
And can see the chip: festering and putrid
Most times though it pokes me with its manly muscle:
I could murder that person who honked at my Honda Vezel!

And so I go blundering and blustering through life
Ego in one hand; in the other an invisible knife
When my shoulder can’t bear the weight of the chip
I unburden, I plot and I rage. I’m insidious.

VERSE | STRANGE-HEARTED

It’s Strange
How some people call all the shots
For you and me; on what’s right and what’s not
On how we should all live our lives
On what we should want to grow and to thrive.
And we follow them like so many mice
The Pied Piper surely leaves us no choice

It’s Strange
How some nations are on top of their game
And others continually parry insults and blame
Some swirl around in their blood, sweat and tears
While others race on winds of good cheer
And yet we stand by like so many sheep
The First World Dream will not let us be

It’s Strange
How the spirit of our humanity
Has gone into permanent servitude
For the battle of egos of the few
Losing our grip on what’s right and true
And we circle around like so many moths
Burning our wings in the flames of their wrath

It’s Strange
How hard it has become of late
To step out of the comfort of the bell curve
Created to kill off the being that’s you
Teaching you how you must hate and love
And we fight on like so many soldiers sore
Thinking one more battle will win us the war

It’s Strange
Even as I write these lines
A question skips on the edge of my mind
No, there are two for misery loves company
Who’ll tell me the answers that I seek to find -
When did the glow inside you cease to exist?
When did Instinct and Courage let go of my wrists?

VERSE | PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

“What is your name my dear
Where do you come from?”
(IN HER MIND)
I like the basic look of you
But what place do you call home?

I look at her expectant face
It’s so brimful of hope
I wonder if I should in fact
Play to her embedded tropes

I smile a little smile and then
I look her in the eye
“I’m from _____, my friend”.
I see her excitement wilt and die

She rallies as best she can
She goes to a lot of trouble
But I’ve put a big fat pin into
Her socio-cultural bubble

Her smile, it slowly wanes and then
It falters to a grim
Look of being unsure, like she’s
Invited the enemy in

I look into her eyes and see
Hesitancy, disappointment
I smile a bigger smile now
To appease, to be an ointment

A chance I give to those who seem
Caught in a state of flux
Their hearts and minds, in a grind
That confusion surely sucks!

But She doesn’t warm up to me
Her face is now quite set
The name and the person
Are no longer relevant

(IN HER MIND)
You’ve told me where you come from
That’s enough for me, thank you.
My steadfast biases have
Second-guessed the rest of you.

VERSE | AARGH! THE WEATHER!

I opened the curtains to the sun peeping through 
Pillowy clouds were floating around - just a few
I stood at the window, the sleep fading away
I smiled - We were going on our seaside trip today!

I packed up my bag, threw in my shorts
A couple of shirts and two pairs of socks
Even by the coast I traipse around in my sneakers
I grinned as I also packed my Bluetooth speaker

I went to the kitchen to make myself tea
Put on the kettle and looked out at the sea
Visible only from that room - the irony!
I giggled - I’d soon be walking on a soft sandy beach

A steaming cup in my hand, I went to my lounge
I watched a pelican as it flew drunkenly around
It had become suddenly overcast and grey
I laughed, it was going to be a nice drive to the bay

And then I went to the loo for a minute or five
I was getting ready, my partner was about to arrive
I came out to a full fledged tropical squall
I guffawed at the tragedy of the “best laid plans” and all!

I closed the curtains, the sun had been snatched up by Zeus
It was noon but he was obviously in one of his moods
I lay down, took a deep breath, closed my eyes
I sighed - The tropical weather gods loved to surprise!

VERSE | THE QUINTESSENTIAL SINNER

She gets out of the car, adjusting her shalwar 
The legs one mustn’t behold, out of their fabric strongholds
The ankles though, for a moment show
Their shameful curvature.

It can’t be helped you see, we are bipedal beings
But we can’t see the nuances of practical biology
When blinded by the nobility of our formidable patriarchy,
And cloaked in out great
Fervour of faith.

And so she bends just a little to adjust the errant drape
And while she endeavours, to hold together
Her blessed modesty
Some man out there, finds her morality in disrepair
What is she bending for, like a dirty, depraved w****!

And the floods of moral outrage at this corrupt spectacle
In their godly country, cause a debacle
Every man takes it upon himself to deface this hideousness
He then looks to his companions, all now chomping at their bits

They rush upon this evil scene, of the wicked and immoral queen
For a queen she is, from head to toe.
Evil, wicked, shameful though!
She makes their blood gush in great floods
Testosterone-filled, Squelching like mud
She makes their heads swim in strange ways
Where she is master and they are slaves.

God does not permit, such sacrilege
Where genders abandon their rightful places
Men are meant to lead them forth
Moral compasses pointing true north
Held aloft by everything, a woman does, from breathing in
To the way she walks in crowded streets:
Ankles hidden, inconspicuous feet.

And that is why an errant sister in faith
(A woman who is alone and out and about!)
Reeking of impudence in her unveiled state
(Putting her entire morality in doubt!)
May naturally be seen by her brothers devout
As a wanton woman standing at hell’s gates.

VERSE | THE KNOCK KNOCK JOKE WITH A MENTAL TWIST

Written amidst the mind-numbing perils of never ending curfew lockdowns. Read at your own mental risk 🤓

Tak taka tak - Tak Tak
Kaun hai bhai bata ab tak

CHINA!

CHAI NA girana babu
Bari tarpay tarpay tarpay
Meri leg not so halkay halkay

Knock knockity! Knock Knock
Who’s there, before I click back the lock

ZEBRA!

ZE BRA in France is black or white
Practical and just hugging one right
And if you feel the added zeal
Add some colour, like lilac and teal.

Tap ti tap tap - Tap Tap
Who is it? That was a fine rap

LIZARD!

LIZ ‘EARD you call her “mighty stout”
You really put your foot in your mouth!
She may be big but she’s got style
She’ll make you eat your words for a mile

Ding da ding ding- Ding Dong
Who is it? Come sing us a song

RHINO! O-O! O…OOOO!

Mr. RAI, NO we will not do this
Mrs Rai yes it’s all the craze
Rainbow coloured hair for you
And I will go for baby blue

Clap de clap clap - Clap Clap
Who goes there? Who gives my door a thwack?

‘Tis me MAYNA!

MAY NA bhoolonga
MAIN NA bhoolongi
My nemesis is bharta de cauliflower
And mine is garbanzo beans!

Open the door for salvation
Open the door for your soul
Who … who’s there?
‘Tis me your moral sense,
Call me your conscience
No punning, rhyming words here
No weighty equations.
Just you and me and clarity
That’s been lost too long at sea

I’m deaf! I’m deaf! I can’t hear you
Ps. I’ve not seen any clarinet either! (Hehe!)
So the door stays closed, barred and locked
Not opening any windows neither!
Go elsewhere, go where you can be heard
The (h)earless are quite rampant here
Don’t come knockity knocking upon my door
Amd I’ll pretend as if you were never here - dear!

Conscience! Right! Where’s the pun in that!

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