Tag: verse

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VERSE | METAMORPHOSIS

On By Mahvash K. M.In hope, poetry, serenity, verse, writingLeave a comment

This is for all those who have survived emotionally, mentally and physically abusive relationships. For those who have discovered the precious blessing of sleeping deeply, peacefully without being haunted by crippling anxiety and the renewed torture that every new day would inevitably bring in its wake.

I look at him 
Threatening, raging 
Berating me
The cruel words sidling in 
Between his verbal pounding  
I recognise, I see
His enterprise 
To humiliate me 
To agitate, to fluster me
To intimidate
To paralyze me.
I’m going to leave you 
One of these days 
If you tell 
Anyone anywhere 
About any of this 
I swear 
I will make you into the beast
The one unfit 
The one tearing down this relationship 

I look at him 
Frozen in place 
My heart still 
I’m incapable 
Of seeing beyond 
My fear
I’m incapable 
Of seeing anything 
Beyond the terrifying sacredness 
Of the union 
We signed together
I’m incapable
I’m powerless
I’m numb 
All I hear is a hum
A white noise in my head 
Autonomous, involuntary 
Humming humming humming 
Preserving my sanity 
Maybe my life … 

And then one day 
He followed through 
On all the threats 
That he had let loose
Into the fabric 
Of our togetherness 
I’m  l e a v i n g  y o u
He said, emotionless 
This time there was no 
Placating hum
No cloaking thrum
Inside of me 
Hiding me, shrouding me 
I looked at him 
Cold sweat gripping 
My face, my neck 
The insides of my thighs
Dripping, dripping endlessly  
But my mouth was parched 
My lips were dry 
I felt like I was going to die 

But I didn’t crumble
In the wind 
Whirling in the murky 
Depths of things 
I survived 
I stayed alive 
That shared horizon 
Spilling blood 
Dirty linen streaked with mud
Was washed into the sea 
Decaying into infinity 
A whole new realm had suddenly 
Stretched out in front of me 
Full of peace and gratefulness
Gladness and serenity 
Where I was calm and I was whole
I had my body and my soul
There was no fear
No agony 
No trauma filled spaces 
Beckoning me

Like Kafka’s Metamorphosis*
In reverse 
I have broken through the curse 
No more thrashing, crashing heart 
Petrified and frozen limbs 
No more grim hellishness
Of emotional poison stings
Making me cry, making me cringe 
I’m still here. I’m here still 
My lungs now take in their fill 
My heart is beating rhythmically 
No suffocating anxiety
Once more I hold the hand of the child 
That has lived in my soul all this while 
For her 
Nothing is impossible.
* KAFKA’S METAMORPHOSIS: 
Metamorphosis is a novella written by Franz Kafka which was first published in 1915 and is considered one of his best works. The main themes revolve around the burden of responsibility, isolation and alienation, and sacrifice.

VERSE | ADRIFT

On By Mahvash K. M.In poetry, truth, verse, womenwriters, writingLeave a comment 
I feel the pull
I feel the glimmer 
It surrounds me, it’s all around me 
I freeze as it coaxes me 
Out of the grip of my sanity 
I stop struggling
And let it pull me in
I drown
Down, down 
In the tsunami gushing
Inside my mind
But only for a breath. 

I resurface then
In my other world 
My secret one 
Where I have no anxiety 
Where I don’t want to run 
And hide
I’m beside
A swing in the garden 
And a rocking chair. I smile.
They both hold the comfort 
And the softness of old friends 
They rest there quietly. 

I sit in the swing 
I push with my feet 
And peek through the leaves 
At the golden-red sky 
I can’t see them 
But I can hear the birds 
I think it is dusk 
A velvety glow wraps my world 
Golden paisleys and whorls
Dance around my feet 
As I sway gently in my seat
Dappled sunlight cloaks
My shoulders like angels wings 
As I weave to and fro on the swing 

I breathe out, my muscles untense
I’m far away from cause and consequence 
No memories, no sorrows
No yesterdays, no tomorrows 
It is Now and Now is everything 
I lean back 
In the swing 
She holds me softly 
In her cushioning 
I close my eyes. 
I hear something 
Someone is calling me
Voices from far away 
But my lids are so heavy 
I can’t keep awake
In the tranquil buzz 
Of the honey bees 
And the gentle murmur 
Of the almond trees 
Like wraiths the voices fade away 

I’m finally home, unbound, pain-free
I lay my head back and sleep. 

She’s not here anymore. She’s gone 
Adrift in the tangle of her dreams.
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VERSE | SOULFUL INTERLUDES

On By Mahvash K. M.In poetry, serenity, verse, womenwriters, writingLeave a comment 
I look at the leaves
Serrated edges, little flowers 
And I wonder 
About its identity 
The shrub growing under the amalthas tree
You would know
You always knew 
As we walked in the street
Outside the house 
You could name every flower
And every tree
Every creeper
Even the sickness 
That gripped some of the leaves 

You looked at these 
Concerned, everything else forgotten
The fact that your own body 
Was racked with disease 
That ever-present pall softened 
By the enormity of your being
Your own pain erased 
And at that time, in that moment 
I too forgot
The wheelchair that you were in
That you were ill; that we were grief stricken 
I dived right in, feeling, seeing
You weaving magic around everyday things 
Flowers and trees grew chimerical wings

The swaying kachnar 
The beskirted Ashokas
Bobbing profusions 
Of jasmine and phlox 
Fragrant bunches
Of nargis and freesias
You pointed them out with happy ease
And worried when any of these 
Were less than their perfect selves
And I too smiled and looked
In wonder
At how joyfully you revelled in it all 
Holding infinity in your lit up face
Offering up so much love and grace

And for those moments 
I too forgot 
The pain and the grief 
It was you and me 
Sadness free
While you took me on ethereal trips
Where nature in all her fullness
Unfurled - beautiful, calming, brave
We were carried away on a gentle wave
The pitted leaves 
Still vital and green
Were the only things we needed to save

VERSE | PARADISE

On By Mahvash K. M.In Faith, poetry, truth, verse, writing1 Comment 
I have lost the rituals 
Of faith. But my devotion has 
Become stronger.  I no longer 
Am afraid or confused by questions that
Whirl around in my head
Never to be brought into existence 
Their very substance damning
Pounding, hammering a path to (h)elsewhere
I now wear a cloak around 
My shoulders.  It holds a super power
A texture all its own.  When I’m alone 
It reminds me of who I am. 
It fosters my introspection
It champions who I want to be 
And then I feel 
No other burden of pretense
Or suspense
No fear of consequence 
For being so much more
And ritualizing less
I have no dire need to find my 
Hallowed steed to gallop on with 
Me holding on, bound for paradise. 
This life, this blessed life is mine 
To treat with such passion
Such tenderness, that earth
Itself becomes the Eden I seek.
My paradise is under my own feet.

VERSE | GRIT

On By Mahvash K. M.In hope, poetry, verse, womenwriters, writingLeave a comment

For all the women and the men supporting them; for all those who get up every morning and despite all odds make it through the day surviving, shining, rising. For the friends and families of Sara, Mahsa, Noor, Qurat Ul Ain and of the countless nameless others like them: your grit is everything.

When it’s been tormenting
Day after day. With no respite
And I just don’t have it in me to fight 
To battle on 
When I’m war-weary 
When there is no end in sight 
And all I want to do 
Is sit in a dark room 
And let its coolness shroud me 
Until I can feel the hair
Stand on my skin. There 
Is suddenly more to the day
Than the heaviness in my heart 
And the endlessness of the grey
That has been flowing, gripping choking me 
Keeping me doubled down on my knees 
There’s more beyond that malevolent mien
Images, memories driving me insane

Now - 

Now there is also something 
On the outside of me 
A little chill 
A little photo on the window sill 
Both pull at me in different ways 
One makes icicles 
To sear through 
The magma that has congealed 
Inside of me 
The other makes my blood flow warm 
Streaming, coursing through my veins 
Reminding me that I’m not alone 
My spirit and my fortitude 
Still cloak my shoulders 
Strong and true 
I sit up straight 
As they reverberate 
Through every atom of my being 
And they chant 
An age old song 
Of others like me 
Who’ve fought on
Their hearts fused forever 
With the loved ones they’ve lost
And I know 
That I’m not wielding my sword alone

VERSE | NIGHTFALL

On By Mahvash K. M.In poetry, serenity, womenwriters, writingLeave a comment 
Twilight descends upon the world 
All is bathed in a pale golden shimmer
The cacophony of daytime 
Has softened to a gentle murmur

Soon the leaves begin to whisper 
In the branches of the trees
They nod their heads in time 
To the playing of the breeze 

A serendipitous cloudburst 
Falls softly on the grass
Before she mists our eyes with sleep
Earth cavorts in one last dance 

Birds and beasts have disappeared 
Under the velvety cloak of night 
They all settle down to sleep 
In the twinkle of her star light 

The night time creatures stir awake 
There’s a chirring in the air
A low hoot, the flap of wings 
The darkening world is now theirs 

As eventide wraps her arms around
Our earth of blue and green
I too lie in the hollow of her hands
And wait for restful dreams

VERSE | THE WHINGE

On By Mahvash K. M.In Foot in the Mouth, poetry, verse, womenwriters, writing2 Comments 
Today has dawned as one of those 
Days that makes me gripe
I sit up in bed thinking of all
The things that I don’t like 

It’s useless today to try and be
Tolerant and benign 
So here’s an unlovely ode to things 
That get on these nerves of mine 

I hate early mornings
And tepid cups of tea 
I abhor geckos on the wall 
Even if they’re nowhere near me 

I can’t stand milky coffee 
But I cringe when it’s too strong 
Too much sugar makes me gag 
Too little pulls me down 

I so hate the humidity 
And what it does to my hair 
Like an alien in residence 
Waving its million arms in the air

I deplore breaking with the 
Predictability of my grind 
First my latte, then some work 
Then some angst if you don’t mind 

But I also hate when twilight sets 
On my day off from routine 
From the clutches of mundania
Self imposed as that may be 

I can’t stomach margarine 
For what it does to my intestines
Anaphylactic shock and awe 
Are then wholly, soully mine 

I can’t stand the loud caws
Of aggressive city crows
Scavenging, ravaging their 
Insidious way indoors 

But I also dread the day my
Neighbourhood mynahs don’t come by
I don’t care that my avian favouritism
Is then guiltless and alive

On these days I also detest 
All our erstwhile politicians 
I wish they’d all go and drown 
In the tumultuous Indian Ocean 

The Arabian Sea just seems 
Like a seriously dubious route 
They’d go Gulf country visiting 
And come right back home to loot 

I hate that I hate my life 
When my hormones are awry 
When everything seems absurd 
A frickin’ painful enterprise 

Yup, It’s one of those days again 
When I’ve woken with a groan 
It’s going be 24 hours of 
Whinge and hate and moan

VERSE | THE SWEET SPELL OF PAIN

On By Mahvash K. M.In poetry, serenity, verse, writing2 Comments 
Barefoot I walk onto the path 
I don’t know where it leads
I’m propelled, compelled forward 
By the sensation in my feet

Onwards they take me further and further 
There’s an airiness in my heart 
I step lightly, sprightly forward 
Along that glittering path 

I look around me as I walk on 
Nature is everywhere 
A butterfly flits close to my toes 
I want to stop right there 

But onwards I walk, I skip, I leap 
My feet have a mind of their own 
They’re taking me down the scenic route 
So on and on I roam 

My face now wears a little smile 
My atoms are swaying too 
And my feet they keep the rhythm
Glide one-two, one-two.  

A melancholy melody almost a moan 
Comes wafting in on the breeze 
I close my eyes, feel its ebb and rise 
As I stroll in the bower of trees 

There’s something else that I can feel
Hiding in the shrubs nearby 
Heavy, leaden, bruised and raw
It’s getting closer all the time 

As I walk with eyes closed my eyelids fly open 
Everywhere is shadowy grey
For a little while there in my sleep 
My aching feet had swept me away.

VERSE | SENTINEL TIME

On By Mahvash K. M.In poetry, truth, verse, writingLeave a comment 
Oh look at that beautiful dragonfly 
It’s turning somersaults 
It’s peacock coloured gossamer wings
Perfect; without fault!
But you didn’t catch the fleeting glimpse
It bestowed upon this scene
You were on your phone lost in
Digital worlds upon your screen

Did you see that butterfly
Just sit upon my arm
Brown and orange-yellow wings
It was full of golden charm!
You missed its quickening beauty
As it said hello and went
You were caught in your own loop
Eyes down, heart still, head bent

I had to hold my breath there
That scene was so sublime
The grand eagle swooping down
And then soaring back up high!
Where, where? you ask me now
As you look at an empty sky
You were fretting, agitating 
As nature sprang her wondrous surprise

Glittering dragonflies, murmurations
Eagles in majestic flight
A shower of blossoms, a ladybird loveliness
Nature exulting in life
Magical, mystical, shimmering marvels
Surround us at all times
Some of us get to revel in their beauty 
Some stay trapped by Sentinel Time

VERSE | THE FACE IN THE MIRROR

On By Mahvash K. M.In poetry, serenity, verse, writingLeave a comment 
I look in the mirror at the face 
That looks back at me 
Silent, still, waiting for something 
An acknowledgment maybe 

I need to see that she’s alive, I blink 
She blinks back at me 
I let her know that I’ve seen her 
She does the same for me 

I look into the dark brown eyes 
Her gaze is focused and serene 
I blink again to understand 
To read that look, to glean

She smiles a little smile then 
The pleasantries out of the way
She and I are closer now 
Than we were yesterday 

I notice the lines that now hug 
The corners of her eyes 
They tell tales of highs and lows 
Of when she fell and when she thrived

My glance slips down to the smiling mouth 
Lines embrace that feature too 
Telling both in prose and verse 
Of times both cheery and blue 

I look again into the eyes
I see a twinkle in them now
Still room for grace and joyfulness 
Before life’s final bow
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VERSE | FALL FAREWELLS

On By Mahvash K. M.In hope, poetry, serenity, verse, writing2 Comments 
A melancholy rustle stirs in the leaves
Holding heavy in their boughs
Their green, green garbs have faded
They are in mourning now

For the bounties once bestowed on them
By spring and then by summer 
Now they curl their mottled frames 
In the briskness of September 

Lady Autumn has this special
Cleansing Ritual that she wields 
Back into the earth they go 
Flowers, butterflies and leaves
 
The promise of new beginnings too
Is buried with their shapes 
For when spring comes round again 
For when again they will all wake

The leaves are weary as they cling 
To seasons that have gone 
But soon they too will hear her sing
The soothing song of Fall

VERSE | THE PLEASURE OF KINGS

On By Mahvash K. M.In Joy, poetry, verse, writing1 Comment 
I go to the kitchen and switch on the light 
A hazy, 5 watt bulb warms to life 
I then put the kettle on 
And while it sings its little song 
I fix my square blue-flowered tray 
Strainer, spoon and a little bowl 
And one of my mugs adds to the whole
With a pinch of the most fragrant earl grey 
It sits in its saucer and awaits 
The steamy pour from the spout
Of the kettle as the water gushes out

Onto the teabag it flows in a rush
Steaming vapour billowing up 
The mug is filled almost to the brim 
Just enough space for milk, not skimmed
(Low fat is the best I can do 
Playing around with tea is taboo!)
Then the iris-strewn tea tray goes 
To the lounge, loaded with its amenities 
In all of this, as its centrepiece  
My mug puts on a steamy show 

It blows kisses in fragrant plumes 
Sending them wafting across the room 
I kiss it back with my first sip 
It’s the one that has the scalding nip
I close my eyes as it slides down 
My throat, searing the flesh around 
But that is the pleasure of tea drinking 
A self-immolation fit for a king