VERSE | AUTUMN SKIES OF BLUE

Do you remember that autumn day
The day you came upon me in the park?
I stood in the shadows of the banyan tree
Preparing for a final flight of the heart
You swept along so light and so true
‘Hello’ you said ‘this October sky is so blue!’

I was taken aback, I was agitated
I stood there awkward, uncertainly
You didn’t walk on, you stood there rooted
Like an interfering angel on a samaritan spree
I didn’t want to hear what you had to say
I wished you’d sprout wings and just fly away

So I looked through you, hoping that you’d go on
But you just ambled around my space
The one I had for hours thought upon
Where I’d finally leave this wretched place
This life, this strife, this gnawing misery
This heart that keened so relentlessly

But you stayed and then you held my hand
All this while I had not said a word to you
You had looked into the depths of my soul
And you knew … my friend, you just knew!
I remember the withered grass you sat with me on
The sun was hidden, but your own light shone

We sat and we sat, you by my side
An angel, a friend, a beautiful stranger
You parried with such elegant ease
My monsters of desperation and danger
Your warmth enveloped my aching heart
That day you pulled me out of my abysmal dark

Now here you lie in a white satin bed
Shrouded in scents of final farewells
I touch your hand, it lies cold and inert
Your eyes are closed, your breath is still
I couldn’t save you dear friend, from final cessations
But then you always were the angel in our equation.
Image: Veronika Vorontsova

VERSE | THE DAY YOU WENT AWAY

The day you went away 
Something died inside me too
I thought that with time
In the pithy wisdom of poets
And cure-alls of self-help books
In the endless cycle of the days
That I’d come back to life
To some semblance of pulsing life
But I didn’t
And that’s ok
Isn’t the end of self the next terminus anyway?

The formidable ego that relentlessly keens
For fantasies of euphoric times
Trapped in snow globes
Frozen for life
Crashing like cannon balls
Into raw hearts that survive
That part of me died
But that dead part of me
Buried somewhere
In the thick of my atoms that ricochet
And my lungs that tirelessly inhale
Is now also my quiet side
A stoic, eternal, abiding thing
Cloaked in
The resolute infinity
Of ceaseless serenity

In that sepulcher of my being
There is no distraction, no noise
No daunting end-times tunnels of light
The lifeless part of me
Is nerveless, unfaltering
Impervious to everything
Everything but the little flame
You left behind when you went away
Glowing softly just beyond
The stillest, deadest part of me
For me to gently find my way.
Image: Aashee