July has come round again Another birthday It’s been twelve whole years Since you went away A decade and two years it’s been And I want to tell you how these years Have touched me After you said your last goodbye
The first two were unhappy, desolate I had regular nightmares I’d go to sleep thinking of you And of those last few difficult days The ritual memory was oddly cathartic Even as it hurt, cutting deep Ripping my heart out every night Before I lay me down to some semblance of sleep
And then through some blessed interlacing Of our two realms you came to me in a dream You were well again You were whole and you were happy And I held your hands Even as you held mine We laughed with joy as we whirled around
And since then My broken heart has gently Laced its red-blue pieces together With gold and purple lines I now find you in visions and dreams That are more serene So real, that when I awake You are somehow still around A heartbeat away, an echo warm and sweet A lingering touch upon my cheek
I look at your picture on my phone My heartstrings wrap around your form It’s the next best thing to perfection In our world of love and loss And so here you are shimmering Lighting up my memories again Twinkling eyes smiling away Making me catch my breath As I whisper dearest, a happy birthday.
It’s your birthday today And I wanted to say That I wish I could see you For a little while today That your essence surrounds me On all of my days Even if you are a breath or eons away That I love you And I miss you everyday. Even if my words limited as they are While making their cosmic way to you Should lose their form, be strewn apart That the love in them still finds its way to you
I hope that you are happy and you’re well I hope you still have your special sparkle I hope you’re still lighting up lives As a friend, a mentor, a spirit divine I hope your radiant glow also reaches within To make your big, lovely heart sing
My dearest I hope you get this message of mine In these words, on the breeze or in the warm sunshine My memories of you are full of joy Uplifting, heartwarming, they don’t usually hurt But today thoughts of you that flit through my mind Bring a sweet achiness to my throat
It’s your birthday dear Mama and I wanted to say May the choicest of blessings fill your time and space.