VERSE | CONTRARIETY AND CATHARSIS

I can wake up on the wrong side 
Of the bed today
I can let gravity pull at all my happy curves
My smile, my feet that skip
My stoical nerves
I can despair today
I can stare
At myself in the mirror for an hour today
I can have conversations with her today
Openly, honestly
Or maybe not
I can look away while I sit
In front of her looking at me
It’s that kind of a paradoxical day
Full of contrariness, of rights and lefts
Downs and ups, shakes and nods
Of sunny dawns and 8am thundery skies
Of bewildering vibes and double negatives
Of not being entirely unhappy with things
Not unstill … but still, not entirely still

The kind of day that hugs you tight
Holding you in the hollow of her hands
And the next moment thrusts you away
With a flick of her wrist. You’re stranded.
Alone
I look in the mirror trying to decide
Whether I want to fret or if I want to fight
Stew in my head or go at it
The daedalean knot loosens bit by bit

F-i-s-t-i-c-u-f-f-s, a k—ick to the ribs
Right-into-the-leathery-heart-of-things

I wage it out in a phantasmal bout
Unfailing precision, all contact bulls-eyed
Unfettering, releasing with every strike
I’m Bruce Lee and Catwoman rolled into one
Nothing’s enough. I go all out
Riding the bracing rush of my blood
Piercing through the eye of the storm

It’s Over, It’s All Done
The Battle Within Has Been Won

I take in a breath
Deep. Freeing. An all-organ sweep
Another breath, reviving, serene
The contrariety for today
Has been washed away or dry-cleaned
Either way
By machinations of the mind
On battlefronts designed
On psychogenic frontlines
Or laundromats for bruises and stains
Either way, one way or another
On the inside, the rumble is done
I look into the mirror again
Into the quiet depths of her eyes
The morning rain has played its song
The world is a patchwork of dappled sunshine
The lingering clouds are peaceful, unrushed
Like the gentle pulse of her bloodstream
For a few moments in the mirror today
Her tranquillity was in disarray
But she can’t despair, not today
While the universe around her winks and gleams.
Image: Jay Massey

3 thoughts on “VERSE | CONTRARIETY AND CATHARSIS

  1. Abey_at_Heathfield's avatar Abey_at_Heathfield

    On waking, do the second part of deep breathing and stretching, and welcoming the day and all its ‘to do’ things first, before looking at the mirror….My solution,, ??..!!!

    Have a nice day ________________________________

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s a good idea. This is more creative expression though, dramatise for effect, than actual fact. Most times the inner contradictions resolve on their own while I go evenly about my day 🤓

      Like

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