They look at each other Awkwardly It’s been thirty five years Since they’d last seen each other Blood has flowed thinner, starker than water For the two sisters Now standing together
They sit down It’s in the younger one’s home The older one perches on her seat Hands clasped around her knees Knees bunched together awkwardly
The younger one makes the tea The steaming, billowing pour Softening, mollifying the tension That has stretched like taut skin Raw, painful, blue-complexioned On the surface of the atmosphere
The older one reaches for the milk She pours it into her cup of tea Hesitates and looks at her Wondering if she still drinks it The same way she did before
The younger one nods, smiles ever so faintly She puts the sugar in Looks at the older one inquiringly No, she didn’t have sugar in her tea From each other, they both look away At the steaming cups on the tray
The brews in the cups Swirl for a while Spin and beguile Then come to rest Pulling a film of whey and casein Around their hearts Hiding away from the scene Hiding away from the awkwardness
“Do you remember -“ “Do you remember -“ “You used to love the milk skin on the tea” “I used to love the milk skin on my tea”
They look at each other At last they laugh Sweet-awkwardly Eyes moist, hearts beating fast The tension is torn away Finally In the gush of warmth From the tea From she looking at her From her looking back smilingly
The older one looks at her cup The smile still playing on her lips She picks up her spoon To remove the cream Her sister never had it Today she wouldn’t too
The younger one looks at her cup Gazing down at the membrane Floating in the milky brew She picks up her cup Her sister always had it Today she would too.
She steps into the car Its gleaming surfaces Adorned with gladioli and motia* She’s the bride tonight Garlands also lovingly Entwine in her hair Their fragrance filling The nighttime air Eyes bright Face shining with expectation She glances behind her Just for a moment One last time At that spot where she stood Leaving behind her childhood Marking the end of her maidenhood She smiles Nostalgia now sits there Young, hopeful and light Eyes bright Face shining with expectation Waiting to fill the space That has been so tenderly placed Into her sacred embrace.
It’s your birthday today And I wanted to say That I wish I could see you For a little while today That your essence surrounds me On all of my days Even if you are a breath or eons away That I love you And I miss you everyday. Even if my words limited as they are While making their cosmic way to you Should lose their form, be strewn apart That the love in them still finds its way to you
I hope that you are happy and you’re well I hope you still have your special sparkle I hope you’re still lighting up lives As a friend, a mentor, a spirit divine I hope your radiant glow also reaches within To make your big, lovely heart sing
My dearest I hope you get this message of mine In these words, on the breeze or in the warm sunshine My memories of you are full of joy Uplifting, heartwarming, they don’t usually hurt But today thoughts of you that flit through my mind Bring a sweet achiness to my throat
It’s your birthday dear Mama and I wanted to say May the choicest of blessings fill your time and space.
This is for the ladies. Amidst all the funniness abounding in the verse, there is a subtle message of self love and self reliance.
Here’s hoping that we can always read between the literal and figurative noisy lines that may be thrown at us in the name of love. And that our peace of mind and our sense of self worth always supersede other enterprises of the liver (jigar) and the heart!
No offence to my male family, friends and acquaintances - these are truth-telling times!
He said I love you Like I have never loved another I said you’re 48 and you’re still Looking for that perfect other?
Surely you’ve felt something in that realm You have walked down lovers lanes Were you perchance arm in arm With your tonic and your gin? And not a woman whom you’d consider A partner and a friend No, she was always just a trip A means towards an end Each bedecked your evenings out The “I love yous” that left your lips Were whispered as sweet nothings In between your boozy sips And now you tell me that You’re in love with me too Except it’s not your usual form You don’t know what’s happened to you! Maybe your three-month romances Would extend to five with me But the Shallow Hal* in you, pal Is still waiting to count to three And then your extra special Trademark escape artistry Will take center stage It’ll be the same old page From your book of Love for Free
That day he said I love you Like I have never loved before I said dear boy you wouldn’t know true love If it speared you in your gall bladder
…. and why I am undoubtedly the man of your dreams!”
* Shallow Hal: A 2001 Hollywood Rom-Com in which Hal, a shallow man who only dates attractive women, falls in love with Rosemary, after being hypnotized to see the inner beauty of women, not knowing that she is obese.
A little disclaimer: This particular piece is not a critique of the institution of marriage itself, but the warped manner in which it is used to keep young women in check. To prevent them from breaking through the heavily-manned barriers created for them by society.
Yes, I waited a great big while For my knight in shining armour to arrive To sweep me off my impatient feet To finally enable me to start living my life
He came to our door, not on a steed That’s the whimsical stuff of fairytales Not really rigged for the 21st century The rest of the story I was sure prevailed
And so he came to our house in a car His mother and his sisters too I dutifully served them tea and samosas His eyes were fixed on me like glue
I tried to think of what I felt Did he stir something in my heart Did I feel a like-mindedness Was he the catalyst to my big, bright start!
The only thing rolling around in my head The only thing that I could really see Was the freedom to do all that I couldn’t now That sunlit pathway stretched ahead of me
I remember I smiled a little too much He grinned like a loon right back And so it was decided auspiciously That we’d be married in three months stat!
The wedding was done, it was T-plus six months And I sat at my dressing table I looked at the face of the woman in front Was she the euphoric lass of fables?
She looked back at me confusedly I pretended I didn’t quite read What her eyes were so desperately telling me That rabbit hole was just too deep
I looked away, this wasn’t the first time Of my inability to face the ghosts Of broken hearts and shattered dreams Of being deluded, of feeling lost
I had grown up believing with all my being That my best life lay ahead When I took on the mantle of someone’s wife That’s what age-old tradition said
But that’s not true, I now know When I can’t look at myself in the mirror There are shackles anew, I’m so confused My dreams couldn’t have been frailer
And so I wait yet again, but now Free of mythical notions and guiles For when I can find the courage to be Who I am, who I really have been all this while.
When he smiles His mouth curves up a little Just a bit. The teeth don’t show But sometimes a rare glimpse of ivory snow Peeks through. Like weathered pages From a book that has seen the ages That has been loved, and also has Been tossed around in the hands Of those that loved it less Now hiding its parchment yellowness
When she smiles Her cheeks skip up, joining hands With the crow’s feet at the corners Of her eyes. Hands and feet Join together in a wreathe Its flowers have been abloom a while Many now wear waning smiles Just a few are waxing still Of bountiful life taking their fill
When they look at each other He and she And they smile for all the world to see The mouths, the noses and the cheeks The enamel pearls, the crow’s feet All fade away as eyes light up Two sets of windows brighten up Spangled pathways to twin souls The radiant smiles reach deep inside To gently touch two pages bright Of a love story so new, yet old
I’m happy today, I can feel it inside The laugh in my belly comes bubbling outside I feel a strange lightness like I have grown wings Yesterday’s burdens seem like faded old things
I look in the mirror while fixing my hair I smile to myself, my reflection smiles back I giggle aloud, my twin does the same We go back and forth playing that funny game
With my bag on my shoulder I step outside I walk to the tree with the dappled sunlight There I stand for a while to glance at the world As the brightness of spirit around me unfurls
Two dogs amble on, happy kings of the street A little old lady dips in her bag for a treat The trio stand out like a painting of love Surrounded by kindness, lit up from above
The resident Tuk Tuk is parked in the lane Its sarong-clad driver is humming away A handheld mirror is clutched in one hand The other is smoothing an errant strand
He looks at me, smiles and says “Good morning” “Where to today? The usual madam?” I grin back as I sit down on the seat Sandwiched between photos of pedicured feet!
I arrive at my destination feeling gleeful and light I’m still warmly cloaked in the joyful vibe Yes! I’m happy today, it’s been pouring right out The smile on my lips has been hard to wipe out.
I’m sitting today at a new cafe They bring me my tea in a beautiful cup And a saucer to match. I catch My breath. It reminds me so much Of the tea set so loved And cared for by your beautiful hands Of the cups of tea that were sipped In your company, by smiling lips Listening to a conversation Laughing at a joke And your own tinkling laugh I remember it, I choke
I remember so many late afternoons Like the one that just pierced my heart So many memories, tender and raw Memories that flood in and then depart Replaced by others, thronging along … Like the one of you putting an earring on My ear where the flesh always fused Making it an adventure, a laugh a ruse Or when you bit into an elephant’s ear The pastry, the confection, the palmier! The chemo still filling your vital veins Dripping its disease-numbing potion within You still grinned, your face came alight You kept all the simple joys alive And then I’m assailed by another memory Of another cafe where you and I had tea You sipped it slowly with your eyes closed Your beautiful face in gentle repose You smiled and I heard a contented sigh And that smile from your lips reached your twinkling eyes …
Today, I’m sitting at a new cafe But in my mind I’m with you on all those precious days.
“I love you and only you You fill my heart in every way I will be but a shell if you Call it quits and leave me some day” Said the man with the twisted lips As he held her close, hands on her hips He’d done this a lot and then changed gears The words felt absurd even to his own ears.
She looked into eyes that were gleaming with fire Was it hope, was it love, was it lustful desire? The three entities then followed behind As she walked into the space of her heart and her mind There she sat them down, the judicious sleuth And looked into their faces now lit up with truth Hope sat there wilted, there was hardly a trace Of sincerity and faith on its mottled face Love was like a wraith of its radiant self Like old dust that had drifted off of the shelf Smouldering away in the furthest corner With sly little tentacles sat covetous Desire It looked at her trying to hide its true hues But in the light of the soul that was hard to do
She lifted the heavy hands from her hips Bestowed a smile from her beautiful lips “I suppose I should say a heartfelt thank you But I won’t, those words, they just don’t ring true”.
Mahvash Mohtadullah 