July has come round again 
Another birthday 
It’s been twelve whole years
Since you went away 
A decade and two years it’s been
And I want to tell you how these years 
Have touched me 
After you said your last goodbye

The first two were unhappy, desolate
I had regular nightmares
I’d go to sleep thinking of you 
And of those last few difficult days 
The ritual memory was oddly cathartic
Even as it hurt, cutting deep 
Ripping my heart out every night 
Before I lay me down to some semblance of sleep

And then through some blessed interlacing 
Of our two realms you came to me in a dream
You were well again
You were whole and you were happy
And I held your hands 
Even as you held mine
We laughed with joy as we whirled around

And since then 
My broken heart has gently 
Laced its red-blue pieces together 
With gold and purple lines
I now find you in visions and dreams
That are more serene
So real, that when I awake
You are somehow still around 
A heartbeat away, an echo warm and sweet
A lingering touch upon my cheek

I look at your picture on my phone
My heartstrings wrap around your form
It’s the next best thing to perfection
In our world of love and loss 
And so here you are shimmering
Lighting up my memories again
Twinkling eyes smiling away
Making me catch my breath
As I whisper dearest, a happy birthday.